As I look back on this past year, I realize how much growing was involved. Heading off to college in a new state, 7 hours away, and not knowing anyone was a daunting feeling. I was born and raised in Tega Cay, South Carolina, a small town only about 10 minutes south of the North Carolina border. I was used to my "bubble" of a town as my parents liked to say. I always felt safe and at home with the friends I had grown up with since elementary school. When it came to choosing a college, I never expected I'd one day be a Florida Gator. In fact, it really only ever crossed my mind when I randomly decided to apply. I had my eye on other schools in other places, but when it came time to choose one, it was between Clemson University and the University of Florida. Clemson was my safe option... my older brother would be a senior there during my freshman year, my closest friends had already decided on Clemson, and it was only 2.5 hours away from home. I knew it was a great school that I would probably love. However, I couldn't deny the tug on my heart for something different. I always pictured myself going out-of-state and I was grateful to receive scholarships to UF that would make that possible. Once the logistics were covered, my parents encouraged me that the decision was mine. They had supported me tremendously through the process and I was nervous to make a decision. There were so many unknowns, but I decided to take a leap of faith and trust my gut feeling about going to Florida.
It would be easy for me to write about what an amazing freshman year I had. While that wouldn't be completely false, it also doesn't give an accurate representation of my year. It was a hard adjustment, and my mom can testify to how often I called her. I had expectations that I didn't even realize - meeting all my new best friends in my dorm, acing my classes like I did in high school, and being able to show everyone I made the right decision coming to UF. Everyone has to adjust when they get to college, but I believe that when you have absolutely no one to fall back on when your parents drive away, the adjustment process looks a little different. I had to rely on myself, and only myself, for the first time in my life. I knew I was capable, but I didn't expect how lonely it sometimes felt. It didn't feel like home and I sometimes wondered if I had made the right choice. My mom reassured me that it would take time and this was a period of growth. It sure didn't feel like it at the time.
I was anticipating going home all semester and wishing I could easily drive home for the weekend like my friends from home. It wasn't until I got on the plane to go home for Thanksgiving that I realized I wasn't desperate to go home anymore. I was excited to see my family (and dog of course), but at that moment I noticed my attitude had changed. I was starting to feel more at home at school and those feelings continued the rest of the year. I established new rhythms and realized it was not only okay, but good for me to experience change. I became more involved on campus and met some great friends. I established a better balance and allowed myself time to workout and sleep, which I neglected first semester. Looking back, I wish I was more prepared for the feelings that were ahead of me as I moved in as a freshman. However, I wouldn't change my experience for anything. I believe it has shaped me into a stronger, more independent person and I am so excited to see where the next 3 years in Gainesville, Florida will take me.